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14 March 2014

Real-life superhero

Sometimes family can be complicated and there's all sorts of theories on who does what and why. One of these is that sons will always feel that they can do better than their father and will continuously strive to do so.
I suppose they can be right, but I happen to disagree. My dad is surely like no other and he will never, ever come out and say it himself, he does not own a cape, nor does he wear spandex,(thank you, Lord!) but my dad is a the real deal true real-life superhero. My mom is equally awesome, (think mix of Xena/Jean Grey/Wonder Woman) but that's a story for another time.

I know this blog is supposed to be about Australia and I'll get there in a bit, but dad, this one is for you, because I hope to some day become like you are now and would be proud to be half the man you've proven yourself to be in these times of adversity.

About a week ago I got the message that my dad's company had to file for bankruptcy. Not a complete surprise, but even I (Mr. long-term-plan-for-everything-with-safety-margins) hadn't realized that things had gotten so bad. Looking back (always the easy part) I guess there were signs and signals, but when everybody is so busy trying to make it work, they're probably easy to miss.

So there goes his (and my uncle's) life's work of more than 35 years. All the effort, all the hardships, all that work, it's just gone. Not even to mention the effect to their personal lives, because their whole lives where in that business they are now left with next to nothing. Only memories will remain in a few months time. Hard times are coming for 600 employees that get swept along in this. Good, decent, hard working people, some of them I have known my whole life and got more wisdom and education from than from all my studies combined. These people do not deserves this. These men and women have families, were building careers, had dreams of big and small things and some dedicated their whole lives to being part of the family business. I still am proud that I got to live and work with these people and words cannot describe how sorry I am for them.

When he told me, my dad just kept coming back to the employees time and time again. That's what he was still fighting for, that's what all the meetings were about, that's where all the effort went. Making sure that as many as possible would still have a job to go to. So many heartrendingly sad, but still positive comments on Facebook and some not so positive, out of ignorance, anger, fear or a combination of each. One stuck in my mind..."I guess they lost our phone numbers...." No, they did not. Instead of keeping 600 employees updated on the latest,  they were working 16 hour days, to then go back home to worry, feel ashamed and cry and NOT sleep, to return the next day trying to keep your job and pay that phone bill at the end of the month. Some people...

Living in Australia is pretty cool (told you I'd get back to it), but at times like these it just isn't, the impracticality of not being able to come over fast and help out is just so frustrating right now. We got asked a thousand times what would make us go back and then we said things like, ehm...serious disease, death, marriage or some other big life event would be the reason for us returning home, but we did not think to put this on the list. I offered, but of course my dad turned it down (that's what superheroes do) because there was nothing I could do and we needed to start building a life here. I still want to be there, knowing that I cannot do sh*t, but to support my dad, console my mom and hug my (so hugely strong and brave) big sister. Instead I talk to him over Skype after his long day in my morning and his evening and he sits there so calm and collected (did I mention he suffered a heart attack just two months back?). He is emotional and shows it, but at the same time so rational and structured. He will not walk away from this, make sure the damage is controlled to a minimum. He will stand up and take the punishment and move past it. Not now, but someday, after everyone else has been taken care of, because that's who he is. Right then and there I am so proud that I almost cry. This man, who has essentially lost everything he worked for all his life just looks at me, shrugs it off and says: "Of course this is bad, but I still have your mom and my kids, that's what really matters now. tomorrow's another day, let's see what it brings". Like I said; real-life superhero.

Superheroes do not always win, but they do not give up the fight. Ever. Thank you dad for showing that to me time and time again and being such a great example of how to live upright and strong. Ik hou van je.

6 comments:

  1. Great piece on your dad and his life-time work. Your words will be encouraging for him in these difficult times. Your task is now to stick to your dream, make your start in a new life a success story, so that he can be as proud of you as you are him today. Hugs.

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  2. Jij lijkt inmiddels al heel veel op je vader, ome joop! Wees daar maar verdomd trots op ! Grz. Dave a.k.a Skip

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  3. People that support their dad and family in this way should be considered superheroes too, one of the best blogs I have ever read....really got to me...gr Koen

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  4. Wow Gil, this is sad news, but a wonderfull superhero-story.
    Though you and your family can look back with pride.The misery of bankruptcy will have its impact, but after some time you most certainly will look back with this pride.
    Well, so far, all the best for yourself, Yumi and the rest of your superhero-family. Hugs and kisses
    Bas, Erna & kids

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  5. Hoi Gilbert en Yum, ik hoorde het nieuws 3 dagen geleden via mijn moeder. Het is nog steeds een beetje onwerkelijk. Je hebt een mooi stuk geschreven. Wat moeilijk voor je dat je nu zo ver weg bent. Waarschijnlijk blijft het een machteloos gevoel of je nu in Australie zit of in Nederland. Het voelt een beetje raar om er nu over te beginnen maar wij zijn best dicht in de buurt. Als je precies wilt weten waar dit is het adres van onze blog: rosalitoinaustralie.blogspot.nl
    We gaan vandaag van Tasmanie terug naar het vaste land. Denk er maar over na of het uit komt dat we langs komen, wij hebben namelijk 2 Tasmaanse Duiveltjes bij ons!
    Dikke kussen voor Henny en Ome Joop, ik denk veel aan ze.
    Liefs Saskia (en Ro Li To)

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  6. Beautiful, made me cry and a beautiful description of your father. Hester

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