Survival Guide to the ACT part 1

Saying that you know what it's like to live in Australia when you live in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT), is like saying you know what it is to be Dutch because you visited 020 once on a stop over to someplace nice. There are of course 'real' Australians in the streets and shops and basically everywhere you go, but it's my experience that there is not 1 Australia, but at least 7 for every state you visit. I thought it would be nice to describe my experiences so far as a 'how to" Lonely Planet style guide. 

Getting around
Buy a car, preferably big or really big, with lots of chrome bumpers and impressive antennas or a 'rod rack' for that one time a year you go fishing. It's an essential. Even though the ACT is small compared to even Rotterdam, there are big patches of nothing in between towns and cycling is not for the faint of heart, because most of it happens on the road. That's right, where the really big cars with the bumpers are. They make you wear those helmets for a reason. Bicycle paths are for sissies anyway. You'll get it after you pass the 4th or 5th remembrance shrine for the unknown biker that gave his life under the wheels of a Mitsubishi Triton 6.0L V12. Then again, road signage is great everywhere, there's mostly 3 ways to go anyways and that's not counting the 4 opportunities to get lost if you're me. You can traverse the ACT from top to bottom in an hour and left to right in 40 minutes, but no one ever does because of roundabout motion sickness. If there was a contest of places with the most rotundas in the world, I am sure the ACT would come 1st 2nd and 3rd. Incredible as it might seem, it does make for interesting driving, using your blinker is optional and drifting to show of the capabilities of the aforementioned Triton is considered entertainment. You do not see a lot of motorbikes, but you do hear them from the other side of the state, as if they need to make up in loudness what they lack in numbers. Public transport is great, both for getting around as well as a anthropological study of the Canberra population. Just make sure you hold onto something, roundabouts remember....

This Ford is considered medium sized and only for the city

What to wear
Dress codes are the same everywhere I've been  in Australia and can be best described as: "Anything you damn well please". The quality of dress Canberra is probably better than most because it's like a mini-Sydney in the centre with about 100 Government agencies (no joke), 25 Banks and 75 Consultancy firms, there's a lot of business wear going around. That does not mean that people know how to make it work. Some examples: No, that bottom button is for show, don't use it! And tasselled loafers are not for business, unless you are a pimp. And no miniskirts are not for the office and no, that "funny"tie is not okay and no that legging is not suited for work (even on casual Friday). And for chris'sakes, learn how to tie a necktie properly, I can do it, so it is not impossible, but yes make it reach all the way to the waistline, yes, aaalllll the way down. And this is an office, not a strip club so you might want to cover that cleavage up just a bit and who the hell wear slippers to work in autumn? I do wonder what people do with all the nice clothes you can buy in stores, wear it around the house I guess. The university students do better, as do most of the immigrants, but it's just a matter of time with them I am afraid. Business casual is really that, casual, so get used to being overdressed.

Okay, maybe

How to shop
First of all bring your car, because all the shops are in one place and that's not where your house is. There's two types of shops. Really big (Think Ikea Delft) and boutique phone booth size. I've mentioned Fyshwick before, that's where all the really, really big stores are, the rest just tags along. Then there's the huge shopping malls, with 2 food outlets for every clothing store and at least 50 cubicles where you can get your phone repaired, upgraded, rebooted, reshelled, reimaged or have a rocket launcher installed. They are always busy Service is great most of the time and there is a lot of choice. Australians like choice and they like cheap, so there is really no end to what you can buy. There is real estate formula that is called "The marketplace"which typically has a big-ass supermarket, a butcher/baker/news agency/pharmacy/tailor/phone shop and massage chairs...It can be surreal to travel interstate and find the same layout everywhere. One weird thing is that if you need high quality shoes or hand bags, you have to travel to Sydney and people do that happily. (4hr bus ride = 20$, awesome, except for the bus part). For the quality stuff, slap on a sticker that says European (meaning Western European, not Bulgarian, Hungarian or Romanian) and the sky is the limit for pricing. Saying something is German is a good thing here and considered a compliment, so do not get angry when they think you are. It's like instant cool and classy....yeah, weird I know. Aussies love to deal on price, so make sure you do it all the time, but not in the supermarket or at charity sales, that is considered bad taste.

This could be anywhere, wait.... it is!

Experiencing Nature
The ACT is just beautiful. A small city core surrounded by small urban areas and lots of open spaces. We've been looking for all that wild life that would kill us instantly and it has been sort of underwhelming. The wild life we've seen so far is mostly of the fluffy and tailed type like koalas, kangaroos, a lost platypus or two, a few dead snakes, a live one that could not even impress a 4-year old and 1 suspicious cow that gave me the evil eye. Oh and 1 spider that could have been a red-back, maybe. The ACT is almost boringly safe, no gators, sharks, cassowaries, deadly snakes, spiders or forest fires. It could of course be that the large population of pick up trucks takes care of that, including the sharks! The ACT is very, very green, there's beautiful views everywhere and the air is clean and crisp on most days. It's the topic of the day when there is fog in the morning and with winter coming on, most people still go about without coats in the many city parks, playgrounds and outside BBQ areas. They bring their kids most of the time, so we stay away from there.

Am I freaking you out? Yeah, thought so

If you'd like to read more, click part two on the homepage.